


He's Not You

by AcesOfSpade



Series: Ace's Random One-Shot Collection [39]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Also Matt's allergic to tobacco bc why not, Alternate Universe, And he actually talks about them, First Kiss, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Idfk what this is guys, Love Confessions, M/M, Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson at Columbia, Matt Murdock has Feelings, Matt and Mike are twins that were split up after Jack died, Mike's kind of an asshole, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Repressed Bisexual Matt Murdock, The Mighty Ducks References, but he has his reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 23:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcesOfSpade/pseuds/AcesOfSpade
Summary: Twins Matt and Mike Murdock were shipped off to different orphanages after their father died.14 years later, Mike shows up in his brother's dorm at Columbia, setting in motion a chain of events that eventually forces Matt to actually confront his damn feelings for once.





	He's Not You

**Author's Note:**

> So I was reading random Matt/Foggy fics, and Matt's 'Mike Murdock' persona popped up a few times, and then this happened? The idea started as 'Mike shows up at Columbia, flirts with Foggy, and Matt gets really jealous' and then spiralled into... whatever the fuck this is. 
> 
> Fair warning that it's been for-fucking-ever since I've written a Daredevil fic, so I feel like Matt and Foggy are both kind OOC, so I apologize for that in advanced.

Matt Murdock was _not okay_. Well, more not okay than his usual dumpster-fire of a life that is. All because his fucking twin brother decided to reappear at the worst time possible.

After Jack Murdock had died, Matt and Mike were split up and sent to different orphanages; something about them being too much trouble when together. Matt had no idea where they'd shipped Mike off to, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't spend the better part of his first year at St. Agnes longing for the familiarity that came with being near his twin. He was terrified, overwhelmed, and could've really used the support of Mike, but no. After that first year, Matt was forced to adapt to being alone. Stick tried forcing him to forget he even had a twin, but Mike was always there, in the back of his mind. Matt spent 14 years without his brother in his life, at any capacity, slowly beginning to resent him. Matt tried contacting him after he'd aged out of St. Agnes', but he never heard back. He at least knew Mike was alive, so the fact that he didn't reach out was a bitter, stinging slap to the face. Then, just before the end of Matt's second year at Columbia, he returned to his dorm to an unfamiliar-yet-familiar smell coming from the area around his bed and a foreign heartbeat to go along with it.

It had been a long day for Matt, having been spent in the library cramming for finals. His fingers were numb from the continuous stream of Braille he was studying, and he was fully prepared to take off his shoes and glasses so he could collapse in his bed and sleep. However, even in his exhausted state as he reached the door to his dorm, Matt's acute senses were assaulted by the overpowering scent of cheap cologne and a lit cigarette from within, immediately raising alarms in his mind. That scent didn't belong to his roommate-slash-best friend, because Foggy didn't wear cologne or smoke cigarettes. Silently, Matt turned the knob and entered his dorm, zeroing in on the fact that the scent was coming from _his_ bed. Whoever had broken into his dorm was sitting on his bed smoking, and he was not okay with it at all.

"I was wondering when you'd get back here," the mystery person drawled casually, the sound of them tapping ash off their cigarette into some sort of dish accompanying their words.

_At least they brought an ashtray_  Matt thought idly as his hold on his cane tightened and his posture went tense. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" Matt asked evenly, an underlying tone of threat bleeding into his voice.

"I'm hurt, really I am. You can't even recognize your own twin?" the mystery person remarked, mocking offense and crushing out the cigarette into the ashtray. "C'mon, Mattycake, you're blind, not stupid."

" _Mike_?" Matt muttered in utter disbelief, emotions boiling to the surface that he hadn't acknowledged in years.

"Oh, you do remember me!" Mike said happily, and Matt could hear the cheeky smile that spread across his face just from the tone of his voice.

"What do you want?" Matt asked sharply, years of acquired resentment overtaking any other emotions rising in him. "It's been _14 years_ ," he reminded him just as sharply.

"Can't a guy drop in on his brother to check up on him?" was Mike's all-too-casual response.

"No," Matt deadpanned. "Not after I spent six months trying to contact you after I left the orphanage they stuck me in, and you ignored every last attempt. Now, get off my bed and out of my dorm before I call campus security," he ordered darkly. He heard the fabric of Mike's shirt shifting in a way that suggested he put his arms up in a sign of surrender.

"Fine, fine. I'll go," Mike conceded, getting to his feet. "Might want to get used to me being around again, because I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon," he commented as he brushed passed Matt on his way to the door.

" _Out,_ " Matt all but snarled, listening as the door closed and Mike's footsteps faded down the hall.

To make things worse, not five minutes later, Foggy returned from his own study session with Marci, reeking of her over-priced perfume.

"Matt? I thought I just saw you leave?" Foggy frowned, thoroughly confused.

"That wasn't me," Matt shook his head, having flopped onto the end of his bed.

"Sure as hell looked like you," Foggy noted, making his way over to his own bed. "What, do you have a secret twin or something?" he joked, not at all serious.

"Yes," Matt sighed, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "His name is Mike. I haven't seen him since I was sent to St. Agnes and he was sent probably upstate."

"Shit, really?" Foggy blinked in surprise.

"Unfortunately," Matt nodded stiffly, once again letting out a sigh. 

* * *

For all Matt no longer knew about his brother, it seemed as though he was a man of his word. When Matt and Foggy had gone to get breakfast the next morning, Mike casually sauntered over to their table and sat across from Matt with a lazy smirk.

"Good morning, brother dearest," he greeted sarcastically, eyeing Foggy with a raised eyebrow. "Who's the blond?"

"My roommate, Foggy Nelson," Matt said shortly, not wanting to deal with this so early in the morning. "Foggy, this is Mike, my twin brother."

"Even if you hadn't told me you were twins, it's not hard to tell," Foggy commented in surprise. Indeed, the Murdock twins were almost exact copies of each other, save that Mike had carroty-orange hair and piercing blue eyes that apparently came from their mother. Otherwise, they had the same facial structure, height, build, everything. It kinda freaked Foggy out a little.

"We've always been basically identical," Mike responded with a casual shrug. "Mattycake takes after Dad, I got Mom's traits."

" _Mattycake_ ," Foggy whispered to himself, soft enough that only Matt's enhanced hearing had caught it. He scowled at the use of the nickname Mike had given him when they were six.

In that moment, Matt could tell it was going to be a frustrating road ahead if Mike really planned to stick around. 

* * *

 

Mike grew up to be an asshole. Matt found that out by the end of that day, and it only made him dislike his brother more. He didn't tell Mike, but he was certain Dad would be disappointed in how he turned out.

After a month of constantly disrupting Matt's daily activities, it seemed like Mike really wasn't going anywhere. He apparently got an apartment near Columbia, though his reason for suddenly appearing in Matt's life remained a mystery. Matt kept pressing him for answers, and Mike would change the subject as if Matt hadn't said anything in the first place.

Matt's least favourite thing Mike kept doing was flirting with Foggy. He knew he had no claim to Foggy, yet every time Mike not-so-subtly started flirting with Foggy, Matt had to hold back a growl as he was hit with a spike of possessiveness. He had only recently come to terms with the scope of his feelings for Foggy when Mike showed up, and it was like Mike _knew_ and was doing it too intentionally piss Matt off. 14 years apart, and this is how Mike tries to 'reconnect'. 

* * *

 

A few days before the end of the school year, Foggy had to go home to Hell's Kitchen early to watch his sister's kids while she and her husband were away on separate business trips, leaving Matt to deal with Mike alone. They were both civil enough when Foggy was around, but when he was nowhere near the twins, they were at each other's throats.

The day Foggy left, Matt spent the morning making arrangements for where he'd be staying over the summer, spending a solid two and a half hours on the phone by the time the arrangements were finalized. It was lunchtime by that point, so Matt grabbed his cane and headed to his favourite coffee shop to get a sandwich and some soup. Not ten steps out of the dorm building, Matt caught a whiff of a combination of cheap cologne and cigarettes that he'd grown to loathe, sighing heavily as Mike approached.

"What brings you out of the Batcave?" Mike asked, hands in his pockets as a cigarette dangled from his lips.

"Lunch," Matt answered simply, continuing the well-remembered walk to the coffee shop with his cane clicking along the ground and Mike unfortunately following him.

"I could eat," Mike shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Will you put that thing out?" Matt huffed in annoyance. The smell of tobacco was overpowering even before his senses were enhanced, and Mike was fully aware of the fact that Matt had a minor allergy to the smoke it produced.

"What's wrong with my cigarette?" Mike asked fake-innocently, a smirk no doubt tugging at his lips.

"You know damn well what's wrong with it," Matt snapped, glaring in the direction of Mike's voice and scent. Mike just rolled his eyes, dropping the cigarette and crushing it under his shoe.

"Happy?"

"Slightly," Matt nodded stiffly, the coffee shop only a few hundred metres away. He could smell the pleasent aroma of fresh cinnamon buns and coffee that always lingered around the shop, which he focused on in hopes of blocking out Mike's cologne.

Mike followed Matt inside, watching with an amused expression as the person behind the counter didn't bother asking Matt what he wanted; she rang him up for a BLT, a French onion soup, and a large black coffee with... damn, seven sugars. It was a wonder Matt wasn't diabetic if he ordered that often enough for the staff to remember it.

After Matt ordered, Mike decided to get a medium dark roast with an espresso shot and a blueberry bagel, following Matt to a table in the corner once they'd received their food.

For a while, the twins ate in silence, though it was far from companionable. Matt clearly had something he wanted to say, while Mike just nibbled on his bagel and ignored him. Despite Matt holding back a comment, Mike was the one to break the silence that had been hanging over them, a smirk on his face that Matt couldn't see.

"So, what's the deal with you and Fulton Reed's doppleganger?" he asked casually, taking a long sip of his drink.

"He's my best friend," Matt said as bluntly as he could with how fast his heart was hammering in his chest at the implication. Even if it was none of Mike's business, the fact that _someone_ had noticed Matt's (assumed) unrequited pining was concerning. "Why?"

"You're my twin brother, I can read you like an open book when I want to," Mike said with another damn smirk. "If you don't make a move, I just might steal him from you."

Matt hoped his face didn't give away the fact that his heart momentarily stopped beating at the mere _thought_ of Mike and Foggy actually dating. Matt knew Foggy had no interest in Mike at all, judging by how uncomfortable he got whenever Mike flirted with him, but Mike seemed to be the kind of guy that didn't take rejections lightly. If Mike so much as laid a finger on Foggy in a way Foggy didn't want, Matt wouldn't hesitate to kick his twin's ass.

"Even if I wanted to, there's no use in either of us trying," Matt chose to say, keeping his tone as neutral as he could. "Foggy's straight, and I'm pretty sure he's got a girlfriend anyway."

"You mean the blonde bombshell that's way out of his league?" Mike questioned. "What's her name again? Maci, Martha?"

"Marci," Matt answered, not able to hide the thick layer of dislike weighing down his voice. There were so many things to dislike about Marci Stahl, not least of which being that Foggy was attracted to her and not Matt. 

* * *

 

For the next week before Matt headed back to Hell's Kitchen for the summer, he couldn't get the conversation he and Mike had at the coffee shop out of his head. He also couldn't help the perpetually paranoid part of his brain telling him Mike knew something about Foggy that Matt didn't, and that didn't sit well with him. If Mike found out Foggy wasn't straight, it begged the question of how he did. Foggy sure as hell wouldn't tell Mike something like that, especially if he'd never told Matt.

The morning Matt was set to leave, he was fully prepared to scrape together cab fare somehow. Turns out, he didn't have to. Foggy texted him and offered to come pick him up in his sister's car, and Matt was frankly powerless to say no. It had only been a week since he'd seen Foggy, but he missed him already. It was absolutely pathetic, he knew.

While Matt was sitting outside the dorm building with a couple dufflebags waiting for Foggy, Mike just had to show up to bother him. At least he wasn't smoking this time.

"You must be happy, getting to go home for a couple months," Mike said in way of a greeting.

"Hello to you too, Mike," Matt deadpanned, reluctantly grateful for Mike's presence; it would distract him from dwelling for a little while.

"So how are you getting back?" Mike asked, honestly curious based on his tone. "Bus? Cab?"

"Foggy offered to come pick me up," Matt said simply, which made Mike laugh for some reason. "What's so funny?"

"He _offered_ to pick you up," Mike chuckled, still oddly amused. "No prompting, nothing?"

"No," Matt shook his head, tilting his head slightly in confusion as to where Mike was going with this. "He texted me this morning and offered."

"I can't believe you're this oblivious. Even with those freaky senses I know you have," Mike snorted.

The conversation came to an abrupt end as a familiar set of footsteps approached the twins that meant Foggy had arrived.

"You all good to go, Matty?" Foggy asked, choosing to ignore Mike. Matt wasn't wrong about Mike making him uncomfortable; there was just something about him that rubbed Foggy the wrong way.

"Got what I need," Matt nodded, gesturing to the dufflebags on the bench next to him.

"Let's get going then; Mom's insisting I bring you over for dinner tonight," Foggy suggested, grabbing one of Matt's dufflebags so he wasn't carrying both.

"Leaving so soon?" Mike spoke up with an exaggerated pout, crossing his arms over his chest. "Without even so much as a 'hello'?"

"That was the plan," Foggy said, tone uncharacteristically sharp.

"Rude," Mike pouted again. "Such a friendly guy, can't be bothered to say 'hello' to his best friend's brother," he said, stressing the term 'best friend' as if it wasn't the right one to use. "Guess you're just another douche with a pretty face."

As he always did when Mike started flirting, Foggy shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, slinging Matt's dufflebag over his shoulder.

"Let's just go, Fog," Matt said quietly, unfolding his cane once he was on his feet. "He's not worth getting lectured by your mother for taking too long," he reasoned.

"You're right," Foggy mumbled, reaching for Matt's hand so he could bring it to his elbow out of habit. It was such a routine thing by that point, but after the week he'd had, the brush of Foggy's fingers on the back of his hand made his heart flutter as he wrapped his hand around Foggy's elbow. 

* * *

 

"Y'know, you two might share a face, but you're complete opposites of each other," Foggy mused as he pulled out of the parking lot. "How are you related to such an asshole?"

"He wasn't like this when we were kids," Matt sighed. He didn't know why he felt like opening up about all of this, but he did. "We used to be a lot more similar, back when Dad was still alive."

"Must be whatever orphanage he ended up in," Foggy reasoned.

"14 years will do that, I guess," Matt shrugged. "I used to stay up at night, when I first got to St. Agnes, praying one of us would be relocated so we'd be together because he knew how to help me deal with being blind. I used to think I _needed_ him," he said sadly. "I guess he didn't care about me, because I spent six months after we turned 18 trying to get in touch, but he kept ignoring my attempts."

"Jeez, that's awful Matt," Foggy said softly, briefly squeezing Matt's knee gently. They fell silent after that, neither wanting to see where that topic went. Eventually, Matt spoke up hesitantly, uncertain as to whether it was a good idea or not.

"I hate that he flirts with you," he admitted, noticing that Foggy's heart stuttered for a few seconds. "I just... Every single time he does, I get really angry and want to punch him in the face."

"You don't need to do that Matt," Foggy tried assuring him, but his racing heart betrayed him.

"But he makes you uncomfortable," Matt stated. "He's said some pretty creepy things."

"That's... not why," Foggy found himself muttering. Matt was opening up, so Foggy was going to do the same, as terrified as he was to do it. "Don't get me wrong, he is an absolute creepy, but that's not why he makes me uncomfortable when he flirts with me."

"No?" Matt frowned, trying to think of a plausible reason for Foggy's discomfort if it wasn't the creep-factor. "Why then?" he asked, though he anticipated Foggy bypassing the question entirely, so he was surprised when Foggy actually answered.

"He makes me uncomfortable because he's not you," Foggy admitted, briefly glancing at Matt to see his reaction. "He's _almost_ you, but he's not quite there."

Matt blinked once, twice, three times as he processed Foggy's admission. A war between hope and denial was raging in his heart with the weighted meaning of those words, both determined to win out. Hope wanted it to mean he may have a chance, while Denial insisted he had completely platonic reasoning.

"What do you mean he's not me?" Matt asked slowly, the sound of his own racing heart managing to drown out every sound that wasn't Foggy or his own racing heart.

"I've wanted you to flirt with me from the minute you walked into our dorm in first year," Foggy said almost sheepishly. "I've tried flirting with you, but it never works the way I want it to because I'm terrible at flirting."

"Will you pull into a parking lot or something?" Matt requested quietly. "I don't want you to get distracted while you're driving right now, because I need to tell you a lot of stuff that might make you lose focus on the road."

"Yeah, yeah okay," Foggy nodded, pulling into an empty parking lot at a garden. "What's on your mind? Did I... did I cross a line somewhere?" he asked, panicked.

"We both hate Mike flirting with you for the same reason, technically," Matt said, still uncertain despite Foggy's previous confessions. "He's not me, and we both want him to be. I want to be the one flirting with you, hopefully less creepily than him. I've just been scared I'll ruin the most important friendship I've ever had, scared to actually face the fact that I'm not straight, scared you'd reject me because you've never mentioned being attracted to guys and you were really into Marci," he rambled, clasping his hands between his knees. "Then Mike showed up on my bed, and he flirted with you so effortlessly because he doesn't have anything to lose and I have _everything_ to lose."

"Matt..." Foggy said softly, expression softening even though Matt couldn't see it. He was at a loss for words, unsure of what to say to convey what he was feeling, so he did what he'd wanted to since they met:

He kissed Matt.

He had to lean over the centre console to do it, so it was an awkward angle, but Foggy barely noticed the discomfort it caused because Matt didn't hesitate to return the kiss, shifting as best he could to face Foggy and cradling the back of Foggy's head in one hand.

As cliche as it was, it felt like time just  _stopped_ the moment Foggy's lips pressed against Matt's. The sounds and smells of the outside world faded away as they kissed, the only thing Matt hearing being their combined heartbeats. When they finally broke apart to breathe, Foggy committed the way Matt was looking at him to memory: slightly swollen, parted lips; brown eyes full of adoration; a rosy tinge to his cheeks. It was _beautiful_.

The moment was shattered when Foggy's phone rang, snapping Foggy out of his daze as he fumbled to grab his phone. He cursed when he saw who was calling, answering the call with a sheepish tone.

"Hey Mom..." he muttered.

"You're late, Franklin," his mother stated, not at all happy. "You better have a good reason for not being home yet, young man."

"Traffic?" Foggy tried, voice jumping a couple octaves at the lie.

"Try again. Why are you really late?" his mother asked again.

"Matt's brother happened," Foggy admitted with a sigh. "We'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

"You better be," his mother said, both of them ending the call. Matt and Foggy both righted themselves in their seats and refastened their seatbelts, hearts racing in time with one another. 

* * *

 

"Fucking finally," Mike muttered to himself from where he'd parked nearby. He'd been tailing the two of them since they left Columbia, wanting to see if anything would happen. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he definitely saw Foggy kiss Matt, snapping a picture of the moment. He texted the picture to one of his contacts with the simple caption 'mission accomplished'.

Just after he sent it, said contact called him and he answered with a triumphant smirk.

"It took long enough," a moderately accented woman remarked when he picked up.

"Us Murdocks are a bunch of stubborn assholes," Mike shrugged. "It wasn't how I wanted to reunite with Matt by a longshot, but knowing he's finally happy after our shitty lives is good enough for me."

"After what I put him through earlier this year, he needs this," the woman agreed.

"I'll probably see you again, Elektra. For now though, I have a brother to rebuild a relationship with," Mike noted.

"Of course, Michael. I wish you luck," Elektra told him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering writing a follow-up with Mike trying to fix what he fucked up with Matt. Would anyone actually read that?


End file.
